Here is the FINAL edition of my collective list of fake swear words.
By Ryan Snider, Staff Writer and Artist
All cool things in life have a trilogy (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, the Christopher Nolan Batman movies, etc.). Because of this, I figured I should have the third edition of “Kiddy Cuss Words to Use Instead of Cursing” be the last. So without further ado, I present…THE FINAL CHAPTER!
- Good golly – interjection
Typically a staple catchphrase for men in their late 60s, good golly is an all-around clean kiddy cuss word. Golly means to express something exciting. Pair that with “good,” and you’ve got yourself the textbook definition of wholesome.
“Well, good golly,” Jeffery cheers as he wins a whole two dollars from this week’s bingo tournament.
- Son of a gun – noun
Used when someone’s being a no-good rascal, and you need to put them in their place. Also mostly used by men in their late 60s and dads who wear white Sketchers.
“You son of a gun!” Jeffery murmurs under his breath when literally every single stall is occupied, and holding it in isn’t gonna cut it for much longer.
- Shoot – interjection, verb
Usually paired with “Aw” or “Oh” to create a feeling of regret.
“Aw, shoot!” Jeffery says as he realizes Johnathan’s birthday was two days ago, and now Jeffery looks like a bad friend.
- Sucka – noun
Used to describe someone who sucks.
“Get back here, sucka!” Jeffery yells at a now scared for life Johnathan who spoiled the “Spiderman No Way Home” trailer.
- Great googly moogly – interjection
One of the most iconic, most original, most hilarious kiddy cuss words. It sounds absolutely absurd and is definitely gonna score you some cool points. Used when other kiddy cuss words can’t comprehend what you’ve just witnessed or realized.
“Great googly moogly!” Jeffery mutters as it dawns on him that there are less than 30 days till Christmas.