Here is my collective list of favorite fake swear words.

By Ryan Snider, Staff Writer and Artist

Personally, I don’t curse. But let me tell you what, sometimes I wish I did. Because gosh dangit, life can just be a piece of trash sometimes!

When life doesn’t go my way, I’ve had to find other ways of expressing my frustrations. So without further ado, I present to you a comprehensive list of kiddy cuss words (words to use instead of cursing).

  1. Dang verb (used with object), adjective, noun

A more subtle form of “dangit.” Can be combined with “son” to create “dang, son.” Can be used in a positive light.

“Dang, son!” Jeffery said as he admired how fresh Johnathan’s shoes were. 

  1. Jeez – interjection

Also spelled like “geez.” Used when you see something that makes you wince or flinch.

“Awwww jeez,” Jeffery utters when he realizes it wasn’t a fart.

  1. Trash – Typically used in the form of “you piece of trash.” Can be used interchangeably with “crap.”

“You piece of trash, Johnathan,” Jeffery sighed as Johnathan ate his last Swiss roll.

  1. Frick – interjection

 A more harsh term. Used almost exclusively in “What the frick.” Use only in the direst of circumstances.

“WHAT THE FRICK!” Jeffery screamed as pulls the unattached parachute cord.

  1. Heck – interjection

Used instead of the ol’ H-E- double hockey sticks. Has many uses, such as “What the heck,” “Heck you,” or in special situations, “Heckin’ heck.”

“Oh, heckin’ heck,” Jeffery mutters as he walks into the DC five minutes late, missing breakfast for the fourth frickin’ time.