Opinion

The Surreality of Senior Year

My thoughts going into my last semester before graduation.

By Laura Caicedo, Staff Writer

Winters in Indiana have taught me that no matter how much we try to put a timeframe on things, they are not going to go our way. Thinking that winter starts on December 22is only but an illusion — and thinking it ends by March is an illusion, too. 

I’m using this analogy as a way to think about my college time, all set up from the start: freshman year 2016, graduation by 2020, all laid out for me, didn’t have to think too much of it. Yet, as my fall semester comes to an end, I start to feel confined by these timeframes. They’re all there to supposedly help me, but instead they are suffocating me. Questions like, “Did I choose the right major?” and “Where am I going to get a job at?” and “Who am I going to live with?” cross my mind from time to time. This doesn’t make graduating that appealing. 

In contrast, my friends and classmates seem to be ready to leave this place. Maybe they have other concerns or other paths already laid out for them: two or three years of grad school, a job they got from an internship they took one summer, family businesses to take care of, or even plans to get married. It’s inevitable to compare my college life to others, and I feel regret because I wished I did more than I did.

Now when I think, “Did I live college the way I wanted to when I was a senior in high school?” The answer is probably not. 

I think everyone can relate to that feeling of being scared of missing out, yet not doing anything to be apart of. As I look back, I can recount the times when that feeling possessed me quite often and I curse at myself now for letting it decide everything I did. 

I don’t want to regret anything. Not a single class I took, the major I chose, the friends I made, the professors that made it easier, the all-nighters I pulled, the tears I shed or the laughs that still ring in my ears. I waited too long to see what it was that I liked, so I didn’t add this minor, or that one. I waited too long to make friends, so now I cherish our time together. It took me too long to get comfortable in my own skin while being in college, but now that I am, being a senior is not as scary as other people make it seem. 

It might seem like it will take too long to become a senior if you are a freshman, but I guess I was so focused on getting to my last year that I missed out on how I got here in the first place. It seems like I will keep on focusing on the things that are laid out for me. At the same time, college taught me to enjoy what is laid out right now. So, my advice is to do that: whatever is in front of you, enjoy it, and whatever lies ahead, you will get to enjoy it when the time comes. 

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