NOTE: This article was for April Fools Day and was completely made up.
Seniors Larry Jones and Bob Barker recently started an underground gambling ring available for students with leftover flex dollars.
“Since the bookstore is no longer accepting flex dollars,” Jones said, “we decided to invite students to gamble with it. You know, to make use of it.”
Jones and Barker got the idea toward the end of Jterm when they visited the tunnels that flow throughout campus.
“We thought to ourselves ‘Hey, it may smell like fecal matter in here, but why not make it comfortable for students play some cards and bet money that we’ve already paid for?’” Barker said.
The biggest challenge they faced was how to transfer the flex dollars. Senior Billy West, however, designed an app available on both Google Play and the Apple Store for students to purchase.
“The app is called ‘Flex Bets,’ and it allows students to sign into their account where they can have access to their flex dollars,” West said. “I have created a database within the app that allows you to transfer your flex to any student enrolled at HU.”
As of March 2015, there has been a combination of 100 downloads. Sophomore Stefani Anderson said her experience with the app and the gambling experience has been nothing but positive.
“I just think this is such a good idea,” Anderson said. “The ring is fairly easy to get to and the app is super easy to use. I’ve already won 50 flex dollars, and you bet I’m going to keep gambling it.”
Junior Jessie Jiller however, thinks the gambling ring needs to expand.
“I just didn’t really like the atmosphere,” she said.” Cigars and poop [in the tunnels] just don’t mix well together. I would rather they move the gambling ring somewhere above ground where you have access to better-smelling air.”
Jones and Barker said they are planning on handing over the gambling ring responsibilities to their underclassmen friends to keep the ring going.
“There are plans to have maintenance build a bigger ring,” Jones said, “you know, one that’s not in the tunnels.”
The cost to download the app is one meal swipe. Please gamble responsibly.