NOTE: This article was for April Fools Day and was completely made up.
Several freshmen have complained that the new Student Senate constitution – sorry, the Student Government Association – is too confusing.
Freshman Michael Entertan from Gas City, Ind. said the wording just doesn’t make sense.
“Enough with the political mumbo jumobo,” he said. “Just put the laws in lame man’s terms.”
Entertain and his group of friends – who can commonly be found playing ping pong in Wright basement – say they don’t understand the terms “articles,” “section” and “enacted.” They also said they don’t understand the whole “two-thirds, fifty percent” aspect of the voting process.
“There are just so many numbers, and it’s clear this is just to throw us off,” freshman Sally Brown said. “At my high school, we didn’t even have constitutions or majority voting or whatever. It was so much simpler.”
When asked why the freshmen did not attend senate’s presentation about the constitution, they said they were watching “New Girl.”
“But it’s not our fault,” Brown said. “I was studying for my Western Civ open-note quiz while watching the latest adventures of Jess and company. … But, seriously, I don’t know what that new constecrution says.”
The Huntingtonian will continue to update the story.