NOTE: This article was for April Fools Day and was completely made up.
After almost 100 years of informing the student body, the Huntingtonian, the independent student newspaper, will be officially changing its name to “Norm’s News.”
Jared Huhta, editor-in-chief of the Huntingtonian, says the name-change reflects the intentions of the newspaper staff.
“We want to make sure people know we are not here to spread chaos or print negative things about the university,” he said. “‘Norm’s News’ will be all about spreading the good news of HU, and we think Norm is a pretty cool mascot to base our name off of.”
Norm’s News will still focus on hard news stories such as the history of Dowden Science Hall, the deliciousness of Sodexo’s soups and the affordability of higher education.
“We just got tired of people saying we were too mean,” Huhta said. “And you know what? We were mean – maybe even a little cynical. But now we have a new name and a new identity.”
Huhta has received thousands of emails from angry alumni because of the name change.
“They are saying we are selling out, that we are nothing more than a college version of Fox News,” he said. “Look, I don’t know what to tell them. This is 21st century journalism, and students are tired of hearing our continued coverage on HU Arizona or senate’s new constitution or something like that. Students don’t want the good, the bad and the ugly. They just want Norm’s News.”
Norm’s News will still have sports coverage, but it will focus more on intramural sports. Arts and Entertainment will only review non-R-rated movies while the Opinion page will feature poll questions such as “How psyched are you for chicken nuggets in the DC today?” and “What volunteer service hours will you contribute today?” and “How rad are 14 hours of open dorms a week?”
Huhta said they are discussing adding a fusion-journalism major to coincide with the name change.