NOTE: This article was for April Fools Day and was completely made up.
As you’re walking around campus, you may come across many students who are wearing no shoes, but bags on their feet. In the past, faculty and staff didn’t mind having the students walk around comfortably in their bare feet. This year, however, the university is putting a stop to it.
“We chose to force the students to wear plastic bags from the HUB,” John Doberman, vice secretary of student life, said. “They are pretty heavy duty. Plus they are see-through, so you can’t actually tell if the student is wearing a plastic bag, or nothing. It’s just a win-win situation.”
Junior Becky Griffenson said she does not appreciate that the students are being forced to wear plastic bags instead of walking around barefoot.
“I’m pretty sure Adam and Eve were barefoot,” she said. “They didn’t have shoes, probably because they didn’t like them, plus they didn’t have shoes back then. But I think it’s just way more comfortable to go barefoot, you just feel so free.”
Other students, such as sophomore Greg Jorgensen, think the forcing of plastic bags upon students is a good idea.
“To be honest, I don’t really like seeing people walk around barefoot because it gives me the chills,” he said. “Think of how dirty their feet get. Then they have to walk into their dorms with those dirty feet.”
Even though the university has expressed students being barefoot as a health concern, it is still believed that the rule will be staying for good. One con of this new enforcement is that the extra cost of plastic bags will cost the university a total of $100,000.25 (plus shipping and handling).
“Sure it costs us a bit to purchase the extra bags,” Jim Larson, professor of MRS studies, said. “But in the long run, it’s good that the students will have clean, healthy feet.”
If you are a student who likes to go barefoot around campus, you may want to think again. The catch is that once approached by a university staff or faculty member, you must purchase a plastic bag for your feet which will cost you $5 — no flex will be accepted.
Should MRSA break out, however, the university has said they may hire an adjunct campus nurse.